Simone Anderson
To quote the famous novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” These words ring true to many people and would explain the dynamic that some relationships seem to have. Love comes in many different forms and people express their love in different ways. The person you choose to be with and the way they show their love is chosen based on what we think we deserve.
Some relationships just seem to work so naturally, seemingly without much effort. As rare as it is to find, it does exist and that probably has to do with the fact that they chose someone who compliments them in the best possible way. Someone who is just right for them and so a healthy relationship is the end result.
Then there are the less than ideal relationships, the dysfunctional ones that anyone can see should end from a mile away. Abusive relationships, possessive relationships and toxic relationships where the individuals just bring out the worst in each other. While it seems obvious to you that it doesn’t work, to them there is nothing wrong with it. That has a lot to do with a person’s self-esteem.
If a person has a low self-esteem then they choose the love that reflects the way they see themselves. They don’t have a very high opinion of themselves and so won’t think much about what they deserve out of a relationship. Some people take advantage of others in these situations. They make them feel worse about themselves until eventually they start believing that they deserve it and won’t go looking for something better.
The thing is, everybody deserves to have the best love possible. They should have someone that will always be there for them, always love them unconditionally and has the utmost respect for them. Someone who treats them right and someone who values them. Someone who can be whatever you need them to be whether that’s a partner or a best friend or a companion. Someone wo understands them better than they understand themselves, knows their flaws and loves them anyway. That’s the kind of love that everybody deserves.
So yes, we accept the love we think we deserve. If you believe that you deserve the world then that’s what you’ll get. If not, you get less than you should. Change that. Don’t settle and believe that you deserve better than even you think you do.
