Pierrette Mulumba
You ever hear the phrase a man marries his mother? Well it’s the same with daughters. Research has shown that women tend to be drawn to partners that resemble their fathers psychologically, behaviourally, emotionally and sometimes even physically.
Fathers and self-esteem
Mothers are seen as extremely loving-praising whatever their child does but fathers are different. The type of affirmation that daughters receive from their fathers forms the basis of their self-esteem. The dad consistently encourages her and ensures that she knows that a man does not make her valuable.
In the case that a young woman does not get affirmation and approval from her father, she will likely spend her time trying to get it anywhere she can.
Then again, harsh fathers can lead their daughters to develop eating disorders and suffer through depression.
Fathers and boyfriends
Some say your relationship with your father, or brothers, is how you learnt to interact with the opposite sex. This can either be a great thing or extremely detrimental to your well-being.
So why do we marry our dads? Well it’s an unconscious action. There is a general consensus that the reasons we choose partners that resemble our parents, is because we want to deal with various childhood issues.
If your father was a supportive, emotionally available and was both a good husband and father then you will likely be okay. You will essentially have the skill-set for a healthy relationship.
In the case that you have an unhealthy relationship with your father and he wasn’t husband of the year, you will likely find yourself in unhealthy relationships. This is not always the case as some people have managed to leave their family issues in the past as well as out of their love-lives.
If, during the course of the relationship, you find yourself having strong negative reactions to your partner, there’s probably some deep-rooted childhood resentment. Another example is you choosing to date the same type of guys that leave you with nothing but heartbreak. The moment you become conscious of your actions and decisions, is the moment to which you can grow.
If you’re carrying around any emotional baggage due to the way your father was during your childhood, set it down and deal with it. Therapy can be very healing and (excuse the pun) therapeutic process.
