Rebecca MacFarlane
We have all been down heart-break lane at some point in our lives. As we know, it can be an extremely distressing and emotionally trying time, and is much like a going through any grieving process. At the time, it may even feel as though it is the end of the world as we know it. However, there is a light at the end of this deep, dark tunnel- and the experts have shared their tips of surviving a heart break!
The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. Heart break is as old as humanity itself, and has often been the muse for many an artist. Poets, song writers and painters alike have expressed the pain of a relationship coming to an end in beautiful works of art. Think Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, or Anthony and Cleopatra. Even in modern times, we have our favorite idols to look up to, and their music to carry us through. A box of tissues and Usher’s “Burn” on repeat is almost an official breakup ceremony. Other than this assurance that even the most famous celebs know just what we are going through, here are some more tips from the Psychologists to get you through your difficult time.
- Find your support system to fall back on
Friends and family are key here. Confide in them, cry with them, laugh with them and spend as much time with them as possible. Chances are, most of them know exactly what you are going through, and you need people to talk it out with in order to properly begin the healing process.
- Don’t stop the tears from falling
As counterproductive to regaining your happiness as this may seem- crying will actually help you to heal. Bottling up your emotions is never a good idea and this will only cause them to boil over in the future. So, let it all out when you feel like you need to. Watch a rom-com, listen to a sad song, and let yourself cry it out.
- Eat right and Exercise
The emotional pain and anxiety caused by the aftermath of a breakup can sometimes affect appetite and will to get out of bed in the morning, but you cannot allow yourself to give in to this. Your body needs sustenance now more than ever to keep you going strong so that you may heal. Make sure you are eating enough, and well, even if you have to force yourself to get down small portions. A good, healthy Salad will do wonders. The same goes for exercise. Even a quick jog to get your blood flowing and raise your endorphins will help you a lot in overcoming your pain.
- Find a hobby
Apparently, consuming copious amounts of flavored Vodka Shots isn’t considered a hobby, as I was informed. So, anything else that you enjoy doing and really makes you happy- do that. A dance class, drawing, swimming, photography, etc…. Anything that you are passionate about and will give you some time out just to focus on you. Art can also be a wonderful way of expressing your emotions, whether it be through writing poetry, drawing or photography. If you can focus more of your time on something that makes you happy, it will be a lot easier to overcome the pain.
- Break all contact with your now ex
Possibly the worst thing you can do when trying to get over a breakup is remain in contact with the other person. Even if it is innocent, friendly contact, remaining in contact them will not allow you to heal or receive closure. Not every breakup is a bad one, and this is not saying the two of you cannot be on good speaking terms at a later stage. But for now, when the emotions are still raw and there are still romantic feelings involved, it is best to refrain from any sort of contact. You need to be strong and be the one to say no. It may seem a difficult task now, but you will thank yourself for it later. If it is a nasty breakup and you have an ex who is harassing you, block all contact by any means possible. Block them on social media, block them from calling or messaging you, and do not respond to their emotional baiting. The best thing you can do is ignore them at all costs. Tell a friend or family member about the harassment, so they can also be on the lookout and offer support where needed.
- Write out your emotions
A chronological record of your heartbreak and how you progress through it. A break-up diary, if you will. This will not only help you to express and confront your emotions, but as the days go by, you will be able to see how you are improving. You may see yourself going from a state of anger and hurt, and slowly progressing to acceptance and finally to feeling more like your old self once again.
- Don’t try and rush through it
Take your time. Allow yourself to go through all of the emotional stages: denial, anger, sadness, etc… Rushing it will only be pretending that you have really overcome it. So be patient with yourself, and know that in time, you will heal and it will get better.
Mostly, know that it does get better and the feelings do go away. The time it takes may vary depending on how long the relationship was or if you saw the breakup coming or not. No matter what the case may be, the pain is never permanent, as difficult to believe as that may be.
In the words of the wise and legendary Bob Marley- “Don’t worry, about a thing. Cause every little thing is gonna be alright.”
